


A Time to Sleep, A Time to Live

by heeroluva



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard makes a decision while his lovers sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time to Sleep, A Time to Live

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lasairfhiona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/gifts).



> This ignores Into Darkness, thus the AU tag.

Leonard had never been in a relationship quite like this before. It wasn’t that they were men. Well, that was to say, not the fact that they were male, but the fact that there were men, in the plural sense. It wasn’t something he’d ever considered, not something he knew he could want, never knowing that he could love two people so much and that they could love him equally in turn. 

Another flash of lightening illuminated the room, showing Chris and Jon curled up together at Leonard’s side for an instant before the room was again bathed in darkness. A wave of rolling thunder followed shortly after, louder this time than the one that had woken him earlier, leaving him unable to go back to sleep. He envied his partners for their ability to sleep through this, their ability to just turn off when they were at home, someplace they were safe and could relax. Leonard had always been a light sleeper. While Starfleet had taught him the ability to drop off in almost any situation, he’d never been able to sleep through changes in sound. 

When again the room brightened with lightening and the boom of thunder echoed even closer this time, a cool wet nose pressed against the back of his neck as a small shivering body tried to burrow into his back. Twisting, he scooped Galadriel up and deposited her on his chest under the blankets. She was from the latest litter from Porthos’ line, a tan and white runt who they’d believed wouldn’t make it through the first night, but her small body had held an all-encompassing will to live and slowly but surely she’d grown in strength. 

Before the litter had been born, Chris had said that they hadn’t needed another dog, the two beagles they had now being more than enough, but little Galadriel had wormed her way into his heart, and he hadn’t even put up a token fight when Jon said he wanted to keep her. Leonard didn’t blame either man in their adoration for her as he’d fallen just as hard as they had. 

But even lovely, little Galadriel couldn’t distract Leonard from his swirling thoughts. In the dark of night whilst his lovers slept and he could not, there was no way to hide from his fears, irrational and unfounded as they might have been. Experience had left him jaded and doubtful even after their years together. He wasn’t ashamed of his partners, couldn’t imagine being happier than he was with them. It just wasn’t what he’d pictured for himself. He’d known since he was young that he’d been interested in both men and women, but despite that there’d always been the expectation that he’d marry a woman, and Leonard had never really allowed himself to contemplate any other life until after his divorce. And truly he’d never dreamed of this until it happened. 

Really he hadn’t imagined that his relationship with Chris and Jon would have lasted for the nearly five years that it had so far. When they’d reached planet-side after rescuing Chris from Nero, he had requested Leonard to be his attending doctor, stating that there was no one he’d trusted more with his health. When Admiral Archer had appeared, he’d scoffed, and told Leonard of Chris’ fear of hospitals, despite the scowl that he’d sent the Admiral’s way. 

In those weeks that had followed, Leonard hadn’t had much free time between the endless debriefings and his twice daily checkups on—don’t call me Captain—Chris, the tests he had to run taking a fair amount of time. Each day they’d bickered back and forth, and two weeks in he’d been shocked when he’d realized that they’d been flirting. He had never missed that Chris was handsome, but he’d certainly never consider a relationship with his superior officer until he suddenly was dreaming of it. Even worse so was the ethical dilemma. He’d had classes and training on the subject, on the feelings that one might develop towards ones’ patients, but he’d always been able to distant himself, but somehow Chris had slip past his defenses with nary a whisper. 

And Admiral Archer had seen it all. 

They’d never outright said anything about their relationship, but they didn’t hide what they had. They didn’t kiss or hold hands, but there was an obvious affection there, a closeness and intimacy that belied something more than friendship. 

A first Leonard had worried until he realized that Archer had been flirting with him too, and then he couldn’t help but wonder if he was mistaken, if this was a game to the other two men. 

Far from a coward, but also far from a stupid man, Leonard had attempted to take his leave, recommending a handful of other doctors just as qualified as he, and even one more so to take on Chris’ case, but both men had refused. Leonard could have forced his case, likely should have, but a part of him hadn’t wanted to go, had wanted to see what would happen even though he knew it would likely end in disaster. 

It had been Archer—Jon—who’d made the first move. Leonard had been packing up his case, exhausted and wanting nothing more than to have a nice hot shower and then pass out and sleep for days as he’d finally been done with debriefings. He was sure that Jon had meant it to be a brief thing, a way to test the waters, but Leonard hadn’t been in the mood for chaste or nice. He’d been tired, and cranky, and more than a little weary of being on edge around them, and having found an outlet for his aggression, he’d taken it. 

Angry, jealous, all tired up in knots for doing what he was doing, Leonard had channeled that into the kiss, biting at Jon’s lips, claiming his mouth with bruising pressure, wanting to stake his claim for all to see, and for a moment Jon had taken it, allowed it. But quickly the tables had turned and he’d taken control, forcing the kiss into something softer less forceful, but not less passionate, and finally minutes or years later when they had pulled back Leonard was panting, his erection tenting his uniform pants. 

A glance had confirmed what he’d felt, that he wasn’t the only one so affected. But reality had quickly broken in as he’d followed Jon’s gaze over his shoulder and realized that they were still in Chris’ bedroom. An eternity passed before Leonard allowed himself to turn and meet Chris’ eyes. The desire that Leonard had found in that gaze was enthralling, but the sound of his name, whispered on Chris’ lips, of “Leonard” instead of Doctor or McCoy had sent him running, ignoring the shouts and the barking that had followed.

There had been an invitation there, a promise, and Leonard had wanted nothing more than to take it, to be selfish and take it. But he couldn’t. Not then. 

Two days later, he’d found himself in their bed, resolve broken. Chris hadn’t been up for the challenge, his battered body not in any shape for anything so stressful, but he’d still been able to watch, to enjoy, to issues commands and fill the room with filthy words. 

For weeks, months, Leonard had played along, enjoying the ride while waiting for the other shoe to drop. It had been enjoyable, unbelievable really after Chris was well enough to join them, but each day Leonard expected it to be the last.

And then Leonard had gone and done the stupid thing of falling in love with them. He hadn’t realized it right away, had likely tried to deny the feelings until there was no more hiding. Somehow his things had migrated into their house, his toothbrush next to theirs, his clothes in their closet, even his PADDs mingling with theirs throughout the house, and he’d come to think of them as his, of this house as his even though he’d been given no promises, had no right to make such a claim. 

They’d made space in their lives for him, opened their home for him, but still he hadn’t known where he stood with them. Even now, years later, Leonard marveled at it, couldn’t quite believe it or understand it. They’d been happy together without him. And sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder if would be happy again—happier even—without him.

Leonard had broken his silence a year in, his divorce proving that relationships couldn’t last without communication, and he’d wanted this one too. He’d had questions, worries, doubts, fears, all built up, and he knew he was mostly to blame as Chris and Jon had been hinting about this conversation for a number of months now. 

There answers hadn’t been satisfactory. He hadn’t understood how they could both agree to risk their happiness on a man they had barely even knew. They’d shared a looked and said that some things were worth the risk. It was a sentiment that Leonard could agree with, even if he couldn’t understand it given the situation, couldn’t help but doubt. They wanted him in their life for as long as he’d have them.

Leonard had wanted that too, still wanted it. They’d had their ups and downs, fights that were bound to happen with three very headstrong men living together, but they’d been able to work through them each time. Sometimes he wondered if Chris started fights just for the amazing makeup sex. 

Part of his worry stemmed from the time that he spent away on the Enterprise, sometimes months at a time. They were always happy to see him when he returned, but he missed them when he was away, hated the loneliness, and even worse, the irrational jealousy, he felt towards Chris and Jon being at home without him. Leonard knew that if it had been Chris’ choice, he would have been out there too instead of stuck planet side. Jon when asked if he missed it, the freedom of space, had said that was for men much younger than him, but the look on his face betrayed the truth. 

Even Leonard’s self-proclaimed astrophobia had faded when faced with the wonders found in space. Leonard had made his own choice, five years bound to the Enterprise wherever she willed. But with less than six months left of his original five-year contract, Leonard found himself unsure what direction he wanted to take with career. Leaving Starfleet had never crossed his mind; he knew that this was for life. He’d had multiple offers, numerous Captain vying for his skill, a number of hospitals on multiple planets offering him key positions, and even the odd research offer. 

If he returned to space, Leonard knew it would only ever be under Jim’s command. But even that, he was beginning to think was unlikely. As much as he would miss the ship and his crew, the regular checks-ups mixed with deadly emergencies, the idea of settling down of staying in one place had its appeal. None of them had discussed it yet, but it was there, looming on the horizon, mentioned in passing but never focused on. 

With the strength of his personality and the marvels of medical advancements, sometimes Leonard could forget that Jon was pushing one hundred, and while Chris was only a few years past sixty, his experience with Nero had caused permanent damage that had likely shaved decades off his life expectancy. Two years back, they’d all updated their paperwork to reflect their positions in each other’s lives, and Leonard had been confronted with the truth that his lovers were not young men, that they were old enough to be his father and grandfather respectively, that if he wasn’t killed on an away mission, he’d likely outlive them by many decades. 

It wasn’t something he liked to dwell on, but he more than most, knew how fragile life was, how easily it could slip away. 

An insistent nudge at his hand tore Leonard from his thoughts. Galadriel protested that the petting had stopped somewhere in his musing and made her displeasure none. His hand resumed its previous movements, and holding Galadriel against his chest, he curled towards Jon’s back, reaching over him so he could touch Chris as well, needing the reassurance.

They needed to talk about it, Leonard knew, in the morning after the storm had passed, but this was where he wanted to be, where he wanted to stay, not just for a few weeks or months at a time here and there, but for as long as he was able. He’d been running for a long time, from his past, from himself, even from his future, but no more. Now more than ever, he wanted to make the most of the time left, however long that may be, with them. This was where he was meant to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Galadriel was the first random female literary name I could think of.


End file.
